Something's Wrong? Signs To Look For In Your Kids

2 Things To Look For. 3 Ways To Help


By BRUCE MCCRACKEN


Once you've told your child you're getting divorced, what's your biggest concern? For most parents, it's maintaining stability for their youngsters, according to marriage counselors informally polled by divorce360.com. "Couples are most commonly concerned about the well-being of their children..." said Dr. Brenda Shoshanna, founder of Everyone Wins Mediation, in New York. According to Shoshanna and the other experts, there are two additional major issues of concern for parents who were splitting up:

1. The effect a divorce would have on the child's behavior and their school performance.
Stephanie Burchell, Ph.D., and a licensed marriage family therapist, of Dallas, Texas, said parents worry about "the disruption of the child's home and lifestyle, particularly when having to transfer between two different households at various times of the week. "

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By MCCLATCHY-TRIBUNE INFORMATION SERVICES


Q: My husband and I each lost our spouses after more than 30 years of marriage. We’ve been married for three years. I have three daughters and he has three sons; all are married adults. My daughters have embraced my second husband, but two of my husband’s sons have never accepted me. I’ve tried very hard to get to know them and be warm and friendly. They are rude, mean and rejecting, and it hurts me deeply. My husband has talked with these two sons about their behavior, however, he also tiptoes around them because he doesn’t want to lose his relationship with them (nor do I want him to). I’ve told my husband to go without me to “his” family functions although this doesn’t seem to be the right thing either. What are your suggestions for smoothing out this precarious triangle? Do you have some recommendations to help resolve these family-relations issues.

A: Al and Ramona have been married 58 years. Here’s what they say: