Cinderella is thirteen... and all that that implies people!
That should be enough to explain the current challenges and changes to the dynamics of our relationship.
(Oh and what changes there are! Someone should have warned me that the aliens would snatch her up in the middle of the night and replace her with a snarky, lazy drone with horrible B.O. matched only by her sense of fashion. GAH!)
Our relationship has turned a corner. A blind corner that I am sure any BIOLOGICAL parent would have recognized but one that took me weeks to realize and stop second-guessing my parenting of her. (Yes, after 10+ years of being a Stepmom, I still do this. *sigh*)
I am not Cindy's BioMom and the sad truth of that fact was recently (and quite cleverly) exploited by my darling as she turned weeks of her own idleness and disrespectfulness into a shitstorm nightmare that involved her law guardian, school counselor and threats of CPS being called.
I SHIT YOU NOT.
Weeks of asking her to "please do your chores" and "please don't speak to me that way" led to that straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back moment that every parent experiences at least once a MILLION times in their lifetime.
(You know the one where you head spins around 360 degrees and your brain explodes and you say things like "wipe that smirk off your face or I will wipe it off for you" but in my case it was equating her sour-puss to a plate I knocked off the table and that subsequently broke?) (Oh YES. I. DID.)
I'm not proud. I stumbled as we all do. And, as we all must do, I admitted my mistake, apologized and moved on.
Did you know that Cinderella has a law guardian?
Uh-huh. Yep. She does.
This law guardian was put in place to protect her from visitation/custody issues between her mother and Dad. We've encouraged her frequently to call the LG if she felt she needed to and could not speak to any of us about it.
Well...
Guess what? SHE DID.
Uh-huh. Yep.
From her MOTHER'S the NEXT DAY during her scheduled 3 hour mid-week visitation. And she related the story of our exchange as only a thirteen year old drama queen can.
"I'm afraid to go home, can I sleep over at Mom's?"
Keep reading at Wicked Stepmom
Showing posts with label cinderella. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cinderella. Show all posts
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Divorce & Biolgy?
Cinderella is thirteen... and all that that implies people!
That should be enough to explain the current challenges and changes to the dynamics of our relationship.
(Oh and what changes there are! Someone should have warned me that the aliens would snatch her up in the middle of the night and replace her with a snarky, lazy drone with horrible B.O. matched only by her sense of fashion. GAH!)
Our relationship has turned a corner. A blind corner that I am sure any BIOLOGICAL parent would have recognized but one that took me weeks to realize and stop second-guessing my parenting of her. (Yes, after 10+ years of being a Stepmom, I still do this. *sigh*)
I am not Cindy's BioMom and the sad truth of that fact was recently (and quite cleverly) exploited by my darling as she turned weeks of her own idleness and disrespectfulness into a shitstorm nightmare that involved her law guardian, school counselor and threats of CPS being called.
I SHIT YOU NOT.
Weeks of asking her to "please do your chores" and "please don't speak to me that way" led to that straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back moment that every parent experiences at least once a MILLION times in their lifetime.
(You know the one where you head spins around 360 degrees and your brain explodes and you say things like "wipe that smirk off your face or I will wipe it off for you" but in my case it was equating her sour-puss to a plate I knocked off the table and that subsequently broke?) (Oh YES. I. DID.)
I'm not proud. I stumbled as we all do. And, as we all must do, I admitted my mistake, apologized and moved on.
Did you know that Cinderella has a law guardian?
Uh-huh. Yep. She does.
This law guardian was put in place to protect her from visitation/custody issues between her mother and Dad. We've encouraged her frequently to call the LG if she felt she needed to and could not speak to any of us about it.
Well...
Guess what? SHE DID.
Uh-huh. Yep.
From her MOTHER'S the NEXT DAY during her scheduled 3 hour mid-week visitation. And she related the story of our exchange as only a thirteen year old drama queen can.
"I'm afraid to go home, can I sleep over at Mom's?"
Keep reading at Wicked Stepmom
That should be enough to explain the current challenges and changes to the dynamics of our relationship.
(Oh and what changes there are! Someone should have warned me that the aliens would snatch her up in the middle of the night and replace her with a snarky, lazy drone with horrible B.O. matched only by her sense of fashion. GAH!)
Our relationship has turned a corner. A blind corner that I am sure any BIOLOGICAL parent would have recognized but one that took me weeks to realize and stop second-guessing my parenting of her. (Yes, after 10+ years of being a Stepmom, I still do this. *sigh*)
I am not Cindy's BioMom and the sad truth of that fact was recently (and quite cleverly) exploited by my darling as she turned weeks of her own idleness and disrespectfulness into a shitstorm nightmare that involved her law guardian, school counselor and threats of CPS being called.
I SHIT YOU NOT.
Weeks of asking her to "please do your chores" and "please don't speak to me that way" led to that straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back moment that every parent experiences at least once a MILLION times in their lifetime.
(You know the one where you head spins around 360 degrees and your brain explodes and you say things like "wipe that smirk off your face or I will wipe it off for you" but in my case it was equating her sour-puss to a plate I knocked off the table and that subsequently broke?) (Oh YES. I. DID.)
I'm not proud. I stumbled as we all do. And, as we all must do, I admitted my mistake, apologized and moved on.
Did you know that Cinderella has a law guardian?
Uh-huh. Yep. She does.
This law guardian was put in place to protect her from visitation/custody issues between her mother and Dad. We've encouraged her frequently to call the LG if she felt she needed to and could not speak to any of us about it.
Well...
Guess what? SHE DID.
Uh-huh. Yep.
From her MOTHER'S the NEXT DAY during her scheduled 3 hour mid-week visitation. And she related the story of our exchange as only a thirteen year old drama queen can.
"I'm afraid to go home, can I sleep over at Mom's?"
Keep reading at Wicked Stepmom
Monday, January 4, 2010
But Cinderella Proved StepMoms Are Evil, Right?
From Cinderella’s conniving stepmother to Ella Enchanted’s wicked s-mom, let’s face it – fairy tales give stepmoms a bad name. The Cinderella stigma has stuck like glue to stepmothers in the popular imagination.
“Ella Enchanted” is the latest Cinderella-wannabe movie to rehash tired stereotypes about stepparents. You’d think that if the director could figure out how to jazz up fairy tales with shopping malls and taxicabs, a script doctor could drop in at least one nice stepmom. But no.
A few have tried to reclaim the “wicked stepmother” moniker and poke fun at the whole “wicked stepmother” aura. You can buy “wicked stepmother” t-shirts and coffee mugs on some stepfamily websites.
But some stepmoms would rather jettison the “S” word altogether. A study by the Stepfamily Association of America in 1997 found that more than one third of stepparents did not identify themselves stepparents. Anything but the dreaded “S” word.
It’s gotten so bad that stepparents are tripping over themselves trying to dream up new titles for their stepfamily roles. “Bonus Mom” and “Bonus Dad” were come up with by an s-mom and her stepdaughter because “step” carried too many negative connotations.
You’d think the American greeting card industry would reap a gold mine in stepfamily combination cards for Mother’s Day. Nope.
Try to find a manufactured mother’s day card that actually uses the term stepmom – it’s not easy. Hallmark typically relegates stepparents to the cards in the “for anyone” or “for friends” sections. That’s where my stepkids will find my card this year.
I’ll open it on Mother’s Day with my husband – just like last year. Unlike their birthdays, graduations and swim meets – Mother’s Day is not a shared event. In our family, that day is sacred – to their mom.
My husband takes me out and fusses over me but Mother’s Day is a weird day that feels hollow – because the people I most want to hear praise from aren’t within earshot.
If greeting card companies were smart – they would create holidays just for stepparents. Until they catch on – we’ll just have to make do.
In 2000, nine-year-old Lizzie Capuzzi declared the Sunday after Mother’s Day to be Stepmother’s Day, and used the day to celebrate the relationship she has with her stepmom. She wrote to her congressman about it and he read her letter aloud and into the Congressional Record. The idea has yet to catch fire – but you never know. We might reclaim that “stepmother” title for good.
Dawn Miller writes a column on life in blended families at thestepfamilylife.com.
Visit Dawn's blog for a daily dose of life in the blender.
Sign up to get columns delivered to your email in-box each week.
Keep reading about stepmoms on The Stepfamily Life.com
“Ella Enchanted” is the latest Cinderella-wannabe movie to rehash tired stereotypes about stepparents. You’d think that if the director could figure out how to jazz up fairy tales with shopping malls and taxicabs, a script doctor could drop in at least one nice stepmom. But no.
A few have tried to reclaim the “wicked stepmother” moniker and poke fun at the whole “wicked stepmother” aura. You can buy “wicked stepmother” t-shirts and coffee mugs on some stepfamily websites.
But some stepmoms would rather jettison the “S” word altogether. A study by the Stepfamily Association of America in 1997 found that more than one third of stepparents did not identify themselves stepparents. Anything but the dreaded “S” word.
It’s gotten so bad that stepparents are tripping over themselves trying to dream up new titles for their stepfamily roles. “Bonus Mom” and “Bonus Dad” were come up with by an s-mom and her stepdaughter because “step” carried too many negative connotations.
You’d think the American greeting card industry would reap a gold mine in stepfamily combination cards for Mother’s Day. Nope.
Try to find a manufactured mother’s day card that actually uses the term stepmom – it’s not easy. Hallmark typically relegates stepparents to the cards in the “for anyone” or “for friends” sections. That’s where my stepkids will find my card this year.
I’ll open it on Mother’s Day with my husband – just like last year. Unlike their birthdays, graduations and swim meets – Mother’s Day is not a shared event. In our family, that day is sacred – to their mom.
My husband takes me out and fusses over me but Mother’s Day is a weird day that feels hollow – because the people I most want to hear praise from aren’t within earshot.
If greeting card companies were smart – they would create holidays just for stepparents. Until they catch on – we’ll just have to make do.
In 2000, nine-year-old Lizzie Capuzzi declared the Sunday after Mother’s Day to be Stepmother’s Day, and used the day to celebrate the relationship she has with her stepmom. She wrote to her congressman about it and he read her letter aloud and into the Congressional Record. The idea has yet to catch fire – but you never know. We might reclaim that “stepmother” title for good.
Dawn Miller writes a column on life in blended families at thestepfamilylife.com.
Visit Dawn's blog for a daily dose of life in the blender.
Sign up to get columns delivered to your email in-box each week.
Keep reading about stepmoms on The Stepfamily Life.com
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