20 Ideas For The Long Distance Dad

20 ACTIVITIES FOR
LONG-DISTANCE DADS TO DO WITH THEIR KIDS

Article courtesy of Dads at a Distance
1. Go to the mall and have a photo of yourself put on a pillow case and then send it to your child. If you have a favorite cologne you might want to put a little bit on the pillowcase to remind your child of you.

2. Purchase or make stickers of your child's name and stick them over the names of a character in one of their favorite books. You can also get a picture of your child's face and place it over the character's face.

3. Make a video and/or audio tape of you reading bedtime stories. Send them to your child along with the book.

4. Arrange for flowers, pizza, etc. to be delivered to your child before or after a special even (a play, recital, sports game). Include a note telling them how proud you are of their accomplishment.

5. Send a package containing all the things your granchild will need if he or she gets sick. For example, you could send a can of chicken noodle soup, a special blanket or pillowcase, a video or audio tape wishing them a speedy recovery, crossword puzzles, a stuffed animal, etc.

6. Send home a photo documentary of what you do all day when you are away. Be sure to include things like what you eat, how you travel, etc. Things that you might think are boring, your kids will be very interested in seeing. Have your child do the same.

7. Have a star officially named after your child. Call 1-800-282-333.

8. Send a postcard attack. (Send a postcard everyday for a week straight, try to send postcards from unique places).

9. If both you and your child have access to cell phones, then go fishing with them from a distance.

10. Try including surprises in with the letters: fast food wrappers, foreign currency, pencil shavings, coasters, Band-Aids, your own art, flower petals, Sunday comics, sand, fortunes from cookies, newspaper clippings, stamps, old shoe laces, or crumbs from breakfast to show you were thinking of them.

11. If both you and your child have access to the internet, then go on a virtual field trip together. Be sure to use a free program like AOL Instant Message so you can communicate with each other while looking at the webpages. A couple of places to start would be NASA or PBS.

12. Find unique things to write your letters on, for example: things your child likes -- favorite color of paper, stickers, or pictures of things they like. Fun objects -- coaster, napkins, paper tray liners at restaurants, barf bags, old handkerchiefs, pictures of you, or of favorite spots. Paper cut into special shapes ( holiday shapes like shamrocks or hearts). Puzzles (cut your finished letter into pieces, try sending one piece at a time).

13. Send home some money so that your child can go to the ice cream parlor. Be sure to send a special letter along that can only be read at the ice cream parlor. If you both have access to cell phones then you can both be at a ice cream parlor talking over your ice cream.

14. Write a news letter (have a regular issue of your own family newsletter with columns about each child, family events, exciting news etc.).

15. If your child does not already have access to a speaker phone then buy one. Set the phone in the middle of the room, and you will be able to have dinner with them, be there as they brush their teeth and get ready for bed, etc.

16. Start a letter and take it with you throughout the day. Add a sentence every now and then and be sure to add where you are when you write the different sentences - i.e. an elevator, taxi, café, etc.

17. Play Internet games together like Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune, both of which can be found at sony.com. Other games that can be found on the Internet include golf, card games, chess, checkers, Sim City, strategy games etc...

18. Make a package that contains cookie cutters and the non-perishable ingredients of your child's favorite cookie so you can "help" them bake while you are away.

19. Choose a photo from your photo album that you can send to your child and then write a letter explaining the events surrounding it. Also if both you and your child have access to the internet. I recommend that you have a family home page. One free resource that I recommend is iVillage.com member websites which enables you to build a free web site you can use as cyber-family central.

20. Begin a Life's Lessons Booklet. Each week write down a few of the lessons you've learned in life and how you learned those lessons. When the booklet is full, send it to your child to use as he or she begins or continues the journey of life

A few years ago H. Jackson Brown Jr. sat down at a type writer and began a list of lessons that he had learned in life to share with his son, who was going off to college. He writes, "I read years ago that it was not the responsibility of parents to pave the road for their children, but to provide a road map." A few days after his son had received the gift he called and told his dad, "Dad, I've been reading the instruction book and I think it's one of the best gifts I've ever received. I'm going to add to it and someday give it to my son."

One Additional Free Activity
Before you leave home next time, hide some treasure (notes of appreciation, videos of you reading stories, candy, toys, etc.) around the house. Be sure to draw a treasure map of where you have hidden these things. Then mail it home. If your child has a portable phone, then you can talk to them and give hints as they hunt for the treasure. If you are not living with your child you can still do this activity by mailing the treasures ahead of time to the person who is taking care of your child.

Article Courtesy of Dads At A Distance

Copyright © 2001 by The National Long Distance Relationship Building Institute. All Rights Reserved.

This Article is based on 20 Activities For Long-Distance Dads To Do With Their Kids

Source: CaliforniaDivorce.info

Kind Of Don't Like Your Step Kids?

Step Kids Under Your Skin?
One challenge that many step parents face but few will admit is that they do not like one or more of their stepchildren. They love their partner, they love their kids, and they find themselves particularly challenged by the behaviors of their step kids.



When a stepmom presents this problem to me, the first thing I do is "get" her on how frustrating and irritating the situation is for her. We explore all her feelings around it and get a sense for what's really getting under her skin in relationship to the child that is not "hers".

After doing some emotional "excavating", we then shift the focus to look at the ways the child is a gift in her life. We explore what this child is there to teach her and show her about herself.

The easiest way to receive the gift that is in front of you is to ask yourself what life was like for you at that child's particular age. What were you going through? What did you need from a parental figure at that time? What were the messages you received about how to be a good kid at that time?

So often we focus on someone outside ourselves, thinking that they are the problem and that they need to change in order for us to be happy. The truth is that who they are and how they behave is really their business, and the only thing we have control over is how we choose to respond to what is in front of us.

If we tell ourselves that the child is mean, rude, disrespectful, and inappropriate, that is what we will see and react to. If we tell ourselves that the child is hurting, scared, lonely, and sad, we tend to be more empathetic and understanding, and possibly even loving, as we support them in working through what's not right in their life.



Wishing you and your blended family
all the best
in 2010

Emily Bouchard, founder,
www.Blended-Families.com

Wedding Bells And Step Kids And Ex's (oh my!)

Remarriage: Four Tips for Planning a Wedding with Blended, Extended Families


By KELLY SONS


His mom has more ex-husbands than you have wedding guests. Is that a problem? It doesn’t have to be, according to Courtney Hammons a certified Professional Bridal Consultant and owner of A Magical Affair. Today’s families are more blended than ever before with divorce rates hovering near 50 percent for decades. Although that may make wedding etiquette more difficult to stick to, there are ways to make it work.

“The important thing is to include everyone,” explained Courtney, who garnered years of experience executing Disney Corporation events. “Keep everyone in the loop.” If everyone knows what to expect there is less chance for nasty surprises.

Read about second weddings and stepfamilies here

Holidays, Ex's, Steps And More

Not that many years ago, I wrote about how Prince Charming and I managed to survive the holiday shuffle.
This year, I find myself struggling to shuffle a new custody schedule not only with Cinderella but with my own Hansel & Gretel now as well.
Since unofficially separating this past summer, Prince Charming and I have tried to work out an alternating custody schedule with the kids. One that attempts to give each of us equal time with ALL THREE kids and also follows the visitation stipulation that's been in place for Cinderella and Maleficent since 2006.
Simply put: If Cinderella is home with Prince Charming, then so are Hansel and Gretel.
Our primary goal is to keep our kids together with each other as much as possible.
In some ways, it's made figuring out the current schedule with Hansel and Gretel rather easy since all we have to do is use Cinderella's as our template.
So weekends, holidays and birthdays are all sorted.
(See, there is some benefit to all of those hours and dollars being spent in court with Maleficent afterall!)
The downside is this year I will not be with the kids on Christmas morning. I get to spend some of Christmas Eve with them (because it's fallen on my normally scheduled day) until 6pm. And then Christmas Day will have Hansel and Gretel starting at 12 Noon. At that same time, Cinderella will go off to her Mom's for three days.
I will miss out on tucking the kids in and putting out cookies for Santa and food for the reindeer. Miss their eyes filled with wonder on Christmas morning when they come down and find their presents under the tree.
Tonight, I will be at my Mom's celebrating Christmas Eve dinner. Something we don't get to do very often but hope to do more of in the future. Before I go, I will help Cinderella assemble the baked french toast that has become part of our Christmas morning tradition. (Time I am looking forward to spending just with her, since I will not see much of her during this holiday break.) We will all then listen to 'Twas The Night Before Christmas with our animated Thomas Kinkade Story House before I leave.
Tomorrow morning I will awaken at my Mom's and open gifts with her. Something I haven't done in a long, long time. Before I was married. Before I was a Mom.
I will then head down to see Hansel and Gretel (hopefully catching Cinderella before she leaves), exchange some gifts with them before bringing them back to Grandma's for Christmas dinner. Something they have never done.
I'm determined to welcome these changes in my Christmas traditions with a positive attitude.
There are unexpected gifts hidden within them - though one Mom will be without her children's faces on Christmas morning, another Mom gets to relive Christmas memories with her first born daughter.
And later on create new memories with (two of) her grandkids.

Keep Reading on The Wicked Stepmom