Monday, November 16, 2009

Thinking Of Meeting The Ex?

For most stepmothers, meeting your husband’s ex-wife for the first time is an incredibly nerve-wracking experience, and my situation was no exception. I knew that Lucy was a difficult person – or at least, that was my impression of her gleaned from receiving countless lists and directions from her when the boys visited our home and through overhearing Aidan’s end of phone conversations with her. And of course, I had heard Aidan’s side of the story concerning why their marriage had ended and Lucy’s role in the break up. Honestly, I secretly wished that there were a way that I could just be a stepmother and wife without meeting Lucy, but of course, this wasn’t practical.

A year after becoming the boys’ stepmother had passed before she and I met face to face, mostly because we lived in the States and Lucy and the kids lived in Montreal. Combine this with the fact that Lucy wasn’t entirely comfortable with the idea of meeting me and I didn’t have an overwhelming urge to meet her, the distance ended up being an easy excuse for why we had never met one another. Aidan would travel on his own to Montreal to visit the kids on his appointed weekends, and then he’d pick them up and bring them to our home over the holidays and in the summer. In hindsight, I probably should have insisted on meeting Lucy sooner, but the right thing to do is almost never the easy thing to do.

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